Every November 11, we pause to honor those who’ve served in the military. Veterans Day is a chance to show gratitude, but many of us freeze, unsure of what to say to a veteran on Veterans Day. It’s not just about words—it’s about showing respect and understanding.
A simple “thank you” can feel flat if it’s not heartfelt. Imagine a veteran, maybe your neighbor or a family member, who’s carried heavy memories for years. Your words can make them feel seen.
This guide will help you find the right things to say, avoid awkward moments, and connect meaningfully. Whether you’re speaking to a friend or a stranger, let’s make Veterans Day a moment of genuine appreciation.
Why Your Words Matter on Veterans Day
Veterans Day isn’t just a holiday; it’s a day to recognize sacrifice. Words carry weight because they show you value a veteran’s service. A thoughtful message can brighten their day, while careless words might feel dismissive. For example, avoid saying, “Happy Veterans Day!”—it’s not a celebration but a day of reflection.
Scenario:
Your coworker, a veteran, mentions serving overseas. Instead of a generic “thank you,” try, “I can’t imagine what you went through, but I’m so grateful for your service.” This shows you’re listening and care. Be sincere, and don’t pry about their experiences unless they share first.
Simple, Heartfelt Things to Say
You don’t need fancy words to make an impact. Short, genuine messages work best. Focus on gratitude and respect. For example, “Your service means so much to our country—thank you.” This is direct and kind. If you know their branch, add it: “Thank you for your time in the Navy.”
Scenario:
At a Veterans Day event, you meet a retired soldier. Say, “I’m honored to meet you. Thank you for protecting our freedoms.” Avoid asking, “Did you see combat?”—it’s too personal and can trigger tough memories. Keep it warm and appreciative.
What to Say to a Veteran You Know Personally
If the veteran is a friend or family member, personalize your words. Mention something specific, like, “I’m so proud of how you served in Iraq. Thank you.” This shows you value their unique story. You could also offer to spend time together, like grabbing coffee to talk.
Scenario:
Your uncle, a Vietnam veteran, attends a family gathering. Say, “Uncle Joe, your service inspires me. Want to share a story over pie?” Don’t say, “You must be glad that’s over!”—it minimizes their experience. Instead, let them lead the conversation.
Avoiding Common Mistakes When Talking to Veterans
It’s easy to say the wrong thing, even with good intentions. Avoid phrases like, “You must be a hero!” or “Was it fun?” These can feel patronizing or clueless. Never assume their experience was like a movie. Instead, say, “I appreciate your courage and everything you’ve done.”
Scenario:
You’re chatting with a young veteran at a community event. Don’t ask, “Did you kill anyone?”—it’s invasive and hurtful. Try, “Thank you for your service. It must’ve taken a lot of strength.” This keeps the tone respectful and open.
How to Show Appreciation Beyond Words
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Pair your message with a kind gesture, like writing a thank-you note or volunteering at a veteran’s organization. You could say, “I’m so grateful for your service, and I’d love to help out at the VA if you know ways to get involved.”
Scenario:
Your neighbor, a veteran, helps with community projects. Say, “Your service and kindness inspire me. Can I join you in volunteering?” Avoid empty promises like, “I’ll do something for veterans!”—follow through with real action.
What to Say in a Public Setting
At parades or ceremonies, veterans are often in the spotlight. Keep your words short and respectful, like, “Thank you for your service. We’re all grateful for you.” This fits the moment and doesn’t demand a response. Avoid loud or overly emotional displays that might feel awkward.
Scenario:
You’re at a Veterans Day parade and see a group of veterans. Say, “Thank you all for your incredible service.” Don’t shout, “You’re all heroes!”—it can feel over-the-top. A calm, sincere tone works best in public.
Final Thoughts
Knowing what to say to a veteran on Veterans Day is about more than just words — it’s about genuine appreciation. Whether it’s a simple thank you or a heartfelt message, your sincerity will be felt.
If you’re ever unsure what to say to a veteran on Veterans Day, just speak from the heart and acknowledge their service with respect and gratitude.
