Knowing what to say instead of thank you for your service to a veteran can help you express deeper appreciation in a more personal way.
While “thank you” is kind, many veterans appreciate words that show genuine understanding and respect.
In this guide, we’ll explore thoughtful alternatives to help you connect meaningfully with those who’ve served.
🙏 Why “Thank You for Your Service” Isn’t Always Enough
Many people say “thank you for your service” out of habit or respect. But some veterans find it feels too formal, awkward, or even empty—especially if they’ve been through difficult experiences. For some, this phrase doesn’t reflect the sacrifice or complexity of their time in the military.
Real-life example:
Tom, a Marine veteran, once shared, “When people say it, I smile, but it feels like they’re just checking a box.”
Instead, try something more personal or reflective, like:
- “Your service means a lot to me—how are you doing now?”
- “I’d love to hear about your experience, if you’re open to sharing.”
💬 Say Something Personal and Heartfelt
Instead of using a phrase you’ve heard on TV, speak from your own feelings. Veterans appreciate honesty and real emotion more than polished phrases.
Try saying:
- “I’m really grateful for what you’ve done. It must have taken strength.”
- “Your time in the military helped protect people like me. I don’t take that lightly.”
Avoid saying:
- “You must be proud.” (It assumes feelings that might not be there.)
- “Was it cool?” (This can sound dismissive.)
Use case:
Imagine meeting a veteran at a community event. Saying something genuine—like “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but I respect it deeply”—can open a real conversation.
🤝 Offer Support, Not Just Words
Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Instead of just thanking them, offer to help or support their transition to civilian life.
What you can say:
- “Is there anything I can do to support you?”
- “If you ever want to talk or need something, I’m here.”
Real-life scenario:
A coworker recently left the military and joined your team. Instead of repeating “thank you,” ask: “How’s the shift to this new role been? Anything I can do to help?”
Why it matters:
This shows you care about them as a person, not just their past service.
📚 Ask About Their Story (If They’re Willing)
Veterans don’t always get the chance to share their story. Some want to talk, while others don’t. But asking respectfully gives them control and choice.
Try saying:
- “If you’re comfortable, I’d be honored to hear about your service.”
- “What made you join the military? That’s always something I’m curious about.”
Avoid saying:
- “Did you kill anyone?” (This is deeply inappropriate and hurtful.)
- “What was the worst thing that happened?” (Too personal and potentially traumatic.)
Use case:
At a family gathering, your cousin mentions he served. Instead of a generic thank-you, ask about what motivated him to serve.
🧠 Understand and Respect Their Boundaries
Not all veterans want to talk about their service. Respect that. Sometimes, the best thing you can say is something simple and respectful.
Say things like:
- “Thank you for what you’ve done, and I totally understand if you prefer not to talk about it.”
- “I appreciate your service. Just know you’re seen and valued.”
Avoid forcing a conversation.
If someone seems quiet or distant when you bring up the military, change the subject and focus on being kind in other ways.
❤️ Combine Gratitude with Action
Showing thanks doesn’t have to be just words—it can be supporting veteran-owned businesses, volunteering, or donating to causes that help veterans.
Pair your words with action:
- “Your service inspires me. I’ve started volunteering at the local VA hospital.”
- “I admire your service—I actually donate monthly to a wounded warriors’ charity.”
This makes your appreciation feel real and lasting.
Final Thoughts
Choosing the right words can create a deeper, more genuine connection with those who have served. Instead of a simple “thank you,” offering specific, meaningful phrases helps show true respect and appreciation. Whether it’s acknowledging their sacrifice, asking about their experiences, or simply expressing how their service has impacted your freedom, finding what to say instead of thank you for your service to a veteran can leave a lasting impression.
By being thoughtful in your words, you honor their commitment in a more personal way. The next time you meet a veteran, take a moment to choose what to say instead of thank you for your service to a veteran—Your sincerity will speak volumes.
